Traditionally when you start up a blog, introductions are in order. Back in the day, I was a 20-something, then a 30-something blogger, and now I’m 44. I’m over the “something” part, I’m 44. I feel like “something” added some sort of hidden dread of getting older. As if that would somehow stave it all off, with the magical something-spray! Minus what physically happens to us, what is so awful about being the age we really are and telling people?
So there I am, me. 44. I’m married 23 years and counting, to the best guy ever (it’s hard to find someone who will truly put up with you – but he does!) I have two children, who aren’t kids anymore. My daughter is going to be 21 in a few months, living on her own and working. My son is 18 and graduating high school this summer. If we’re really lucky and things go well, my son will go off to college and I’ll get to try on the hat of “Empty Nester”.
At which point, I will throw a party by myself and run around my house naked. I’ll eat standing in front of the fridge, and dance on the couches blasting MY music. Because I CAN!
I’ll probably throw my back out doing it, but it’s going to happen, people. I have goals.
I’m an artist. Not a hobbyist, but an actual professional artist. Although, some days it feels like I’m not anything at all. I have an art degree, but I also have a business degree. Owning your own business is hard, but I would still paint even if no one ever bought anything. I’m driven to do this, and I know I am lucky to have something I am driven to do that I can make my career. Fortunately, I haven’t wanted to cut off my ear and store a bazillion paintings in the attic, so bonus!
That’s life, and art, so in order to segue into chocolate, allow me to share a recent little 4×6 inch painting I did around Valentine’s Day:
I thought that painting chocolate would be a nice way to stay on my diet. I mean, it’s calorie-free! It totally backfired on me.
Not only did I end up eating about three pounds of strawberries over the following weeks, but I also got ahold of the clearance Valentine’s Day candy. Granted, it was to take photo-references for future paintings, but let’s just say that I think throwing out that chocolate afterward would have been a tragedy of epic proportions. What kind of monster would do that? Not this monster, that’s certain!
Which leads me to the health part of who I am, and it is a decent sized part as well. You see, I would call myself a “former fat girl” but I actually don’t like that phrasing. It’s mean, even if I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think it just comes down to the point that whether I was obese or at goal weight, I was always me. Why am I any less valuable, or labeled differently for who I am based on my outward appearance? It’s a hot-button of mine.
Long weight-story short? I always struggled with my weight. I got married at an “ok” weight. I became obese before I ever had kids. After I had kids, I worked hard to figure it out (one of my blogs was even named that.) I even went so far as to get certified as a personal trainer – not because I wanted to train anyone, but because I wanted the knowledge. I got down and maintained a good goal weight for a long time, but you know what knowledge doesn’t do? Solve everything. So, now I am currently struggling with my weight, and have been for a long stretch again. Weight, although it’s so simple for people to point out, is infinitely more complex than people want to admit.
I’m a country-girl, as in a hermit who wants to live as far off from people as possible (and I do, on about 100 acres!) I’m actually introverted and shy, and I have some social anxiety. I like people, a great deal actually, but I haven’t had the best experiences with them – and that’s been consistent my whole life. However, I have also managed to meet some amazing people as well. I have struggles I won’t be able to share, but the ones I can, I will.
And that’s probably more than enough to get rolling. This is me, in my rainbow painted, cracked, aging nutshell off in the woods of Vermont! Now, on to more interesting posts going forward!
7 thoughts on “Chocolate, Art and Life (Who Am I?)”
lovely to meet you Kyra 🙂 I can’t believe that’s a painting of strawberries and chocolate – it looks like a photo!
I think I labeled myself “former fat girl” because that is actually how I identified that person who started my blog. Nowadays if you aren’t “something” how do you get anyone interested? I mean you should be an ambassador! or a coach! or an influencer! *Insert eye roll* But to be honest, I’m not hung up on the label. It’s a fact. Before this version of me I was someone else. Someone less confident, less believing in themselves, less drive, less focus. I don’t have kids. I had only me to focus on and I didn’t like me very much. And it showed.
If you want to join our fitness linkups let me know – I can direct you to a group on facebook.
(also I’m in the process of moving my blog and changing my url – in case you can’t find me for a bit)
Definitely let me know where you move to, and I’d love to know those linkups! 🙂
I like this post Kyra, and getting to know you a bit. You are beautiful, smart and talented, and I love your sense of humour too. Thank you for sharing, and keep creating!
Thank you Khaya! And I’m enjoying getting to know you a bit better through your blog as well!
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Hi, Kyra! Nice to meet you! Seems surreal doing this again. It feels like I’ve known you forever. And I have. But then I see Renée here and I’ve known her for REAL forever. She’s seen me with a mullet. This blogging thing really creates a blending of all the different worlds. Renée knows Yvonne, the infamous DutchBitch. And Dave.
Boy, the mullet…. Eeek! (Actually, I think you have shared those photos.) So Renee and I have people in common 🙂 Funny how even now, we can still run across new people with lots of the same connections!
Like, high school days, EEK!